yes, I am a recovering perfectionist

I am not obsessive about order or having everything in it's perfect place. I am also not extremely focused on getting every detail of everything I do just right, but I am someone who struggles with allowing myself to make mistakes. So in that sense I feel that I am somewhat of a perfectionist, and even though it drives me to do well at work, it can fast-track me to burn-out if I don't manage it well.

I tend to have a lot of grace with others when they make mistakes, but when it comes to MY performance in MY line of work, I often find myself wanting everything to run smoothly without any hiccups or errors. And when I do make a mistake or my project is interrupted by an unexpected turn of events, I tend to feel overly responsible and I expect some sort of punishment for being, well, human ☺.

I decided one day to came clean about this to my manager, as I was really adding unneccesary stress to my work load. As soon as I started talking about it with someone I could start working on reprogramming my thoughts a little.

I also realise that my intentions aren't wrong because I really just want to deliver the best results possible, but I have to keep reminding myself that I'm human (just like everybody else), and that every hiccup or crisis holds great learning opportunities for me.

So I'm learning how to embrace and appreciate failure, and having a mentor at close range is really helping! I iread this interesting post on how healthy/hurtful perfectionism can be, and just reading someone else's experience really encourages me. Reading this post on how to manage a perfectionist has also given me some ideas as to how I can better manage myself.

Can I hear an "amen" from the other perfectionists out there!!?

bored at the office?

 

Servicing employees can be a full time job and most of the time there’s a lot to work on (especially when we’re recruiting for multiple vacancies and the occasional crisis comes along). But there are days (like today) when everyone is happy, we’re not recruiting and we have yet to start with our next special HR project. There is no hovering deadline or serious crisis, my phone doesn’t ring for most of the day and I only have 2 random emails in my inbox. Not the most exciting way to spend time at work!

Lucky for me, this doesn’t happen too often. And I’ve come to realize that it’s just part of being in employee service. It’s a good thing if everyone is OK, and so I can use this time for something else. So instead if feeling frustrated, I try to focus on the following:

• Filing – Yes, I know, this can be gruelling! But when most days are rushed and jam packed, filing is something that’s easily neglected. And even though it’s no fun, it helps to either organise or “audit” our files to be sure we’re keeping track of everything important. Sometimes it leads me to a crucial oversight or a gap in our paperwork, which means... more work – Yeah!
• Reading – This can be challenging because it really wears out my eyes to focus on my monitor all day, so I subscribe to a couple of HR magazines and I have a labour law guide or new book to flip through every now and then. Even though some of the info is repetitive, it keeps me aware of what’s happening in our industry and it expands my basic understanding of HR. This means that I can make more valuable contributions or suggestions at work.
• Connecting – We tend to get a little disconnected by using hi-tech communication to replace real face-to-face interaction. Taking a stroll through the office and having a chat with one or two employees helps me break this barrier. Making some friends or just getting to know your colleagues is a sure way to improve your job satisfaction and engagement.
• Career planning – Whether it be within my current organisation or a future employer, it’s important for me to set some goals for what I would like to achieve in my career. I can also think of new initiatives, or ideas to improve our current systems. This shows that I’m pro-active and that I want to add value. Also, I don’t EVER want to become too complacent in my current role, so monitoring my skills gaps is a good indicator for which workshops or seminars I might want to attend.  
• Networking – Referring back to my grad school textbooks might be outdated, but catching up with peers and old classmates really broadens my knowledge of what others are doing in my field. Meeting new people at seminars or workshops can also add to the people I learn from, and you never know when someone might want to consider you for a position because you've gotten to know each other before a position was even advertised.

I found this post on what to do when you’re unstimulated at work – enjoy!

reading about management if I'm not a manager?

A reader asks: "Dear Wannabe|Employee, Is it a little over ambitious for me to start reading books on management when I'm still an entry level professional?"

One of the best things (career wise) I've started doing is to read up on management even though I am not a manager myself. I wanted to read a book on this topic in preparation of possibly being a manager in future, but I soon realised that reading up on management can actually help me become a more valuable employee.

Here's why:

• If I can make my manager's day easier, she will be sure to value me as a team member because I support the team's work load and not only my own. Something any employer will appreciate is when you consider the bigger picture and not only the tiny part you play.
• If I know what issues my manager may have to face on a daily basis, I can ovoid adding to those frustrations.
• If I know a thing or two about management before I become one, my chances of being great at it from the start are better than the average Joe's (not disregarding the mistakes I will most definitely make). I will know more about what I can expect, and how NOT to handle sensitive situations.
• If I read up on management I will most likely understand why my manager acts and makes decisions the way she does. Criticising a manager's decision making without knowing what in entails may come across as being shortsighted and (to be honest) a little foolish.
• If I have a terrible manager, reading may give me some insight as to how I may want to approach the issue. If I have an awesome manager, I will appreciate her even more.

So, the first book I chose to read on management is First, Break All the Rules (Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman), and I am hooked! It draws a clear distinction between managers and leaders, and how (many times) managers really aren't good leaders. It is helping me distinguish which kind of managers I want to work for, but essentially which type of manager I would like to be later on. I can start being a leader in my position even though my title doesn't say "manager" at the end. The author also focuses on what employees REALLY value in their jobs, and it has given me some food for thought as to what really makes me want to commit to a specific job.

Have you read it? Whatever the line of work you're in, I'm confident that it will benefit your career in a significant way!

why can't we all just get along...?

Something I really enjoy about watching employee behaviour is how different things irritate different people. And in the workplace, where we spend big chunks of our time in relatively close proximity to others, there are bound to be a variety of potential triggers.

I was trying to think of a couple of things that get on my nerves from time to time:

• Rudeness - This really gets me worked up sometimes. I find it hard to keep quiet when I see an employee throwing his/her weight around and disregarding others to feel better about themselves. I know that it's impossible for everyone to like each other, but I believe that liking someone should not determine whether or not we respect them as a person.
• Office gossip - Being in HR, I’ve noticed some employees who will always try to ask me questions they know they shouldn’t. “But can’t YOU tell us what’s going on with so-and-so? We won’t tell anyone, we just really want to know”. These are also the same employees who take any hint of a rumour and distribute it through the office at record speed. I’m not a fan.
• Grown-ups behaving like spoiled children - I have to admit, we all may occasionally have one of these moments ☺, but there are days when an employee reminds me again that being older doesn’t necessarily mean you are mature. I’m sure we’ve all encountered one of those... 

These are really personal irritations, but let’s not forget those pet peeves that send blood pressures through the roof sometimes! An employee who always borrows your pen and never returns it, someone who dresses inappropriately, bad lunch manners, or a colleague stepping into your personal space. What are the things that get on your nerves in the office?

I also found a whole laundry list of colleague irritations – ENJOY!!

stressed much?

Statistically we are all bound to have a terrible day at work once in a while (if this is happening very often, you might want to rethink your choice of career or employer - or maybe step up a notch in your commitment J). 

The worst kind of day for me is when I’ve made some kind of small oversight that comes back to bite me in a big way. Or when I’m not sure I handled a sensitive situation right. I also tend to feel overly responsible when anything gets out of hand or a plan backfires. 

I think a job with no stress would be super boring, so I will always prefer a challenging position. But not knowing how to channel your stress can cause even MORE stress, so what to do?

What works for me on a bad day:

• A good chat with my Talent Manager - I am very privileged to have a manager who is a great listener and allows me to speak my mind.  Talking about my frustrations helps me put things in perspective and understand my own reactions better. She also gives great advice, and hearing her impression of my problem usually changes my approach for the better. A good friend or trustworthy colleague at work will also do the trick.
• Remind myself that we are all human - As a recovering perfectionist, I have realised that I want things to go according to plan ALL THE TIME. Firstly – not possible. Secondly – not human. In some cases I need to take responsibility for making a mistake and try to fix it or just say I’m sorry, but many times I just need to appreciate the learning involved in failures and challenging situations.
• Breathe - Remembering to stop thinking for a moment, and just suck in as much oxygen as my lungs can handle for a minute or two, helps me get out of my own head and remember that my crisis may not even really be a crisis. We had a yoga instructor at our latest Wellness Day, who reminded us of the benefits of deep, full and slow breathing and stretching. I know everyone always says it – BUT IT WORKS J.
• Doing something fun or relaxing in my free time - Going on a date night with my hubby or having a big glass of wine with dinner, a spinning class at the gym or a Pilates session in the quiet of my living room. Anything to remind me that there is more to life than how my day at work has been. 

Here’s a handy blog post I read recently with some more ideas on managing stress and overload at work. What works for you?

welcome to my blog!

I am excited about learning to be more than just another average employee, and I will be sharing what I learn along the way. I hope to inspire you to take charge of your career and be a better (more fulfilled) employee tomorrow than the one you are today.

Please feel free to comment and share your thoughts, questions and experiences!