Welcome back after a very long weekend! We have a very fun and interesting topic to discuss this Monday. I had a few giggles while writing this one, because odds are that if you are in fact annoying others at work, you will most likely NOT be aware of it and not be interested in reading advice on the topic.
But for those of you who value their personal brands and the relationships you have with colleagues, here are a few great posts I found to help you ensure you are not a source of frustration in the workplace:
Hoping you also had a smile on your face while reading these, even if you may have noticed a few annoying quirks of your own! Even the most pleasant person can have habits that annoy others, so here's to polishing your professional image and adding to the positive atmosphere at work!
To be an open book at work or not? To tell your colleague the details of your last medical procedure, your mother in-law's gambling problem or an inappropriate dream you keep having... What do you think, do these qualify as over sharing? Have a look at some more examples of things your colleagues probably don't want to hear from you:
Sharing a few details of your personal life (like the sports teams you love or your hobbies) is an essential part of building relationships with your colleagues. After all, we all find it easier to relate to someone with common interests or opinions. It's a great way to show that you are (also) human and that you are more than what your job title suggests.
Social media platforms are encouraging us to share every detail of our lives to the world. Are you doing the same at work? It might be a good idea to draw some kind of line for yourself to ensure you don't become known at the office for spilling too much (or inappropriate) information.
Let's have a look at some guidelines to keep your personal life (mostly) personal:
Train your brain: Take some time to evaluate and train your impulse to over share. Identify if you may be doing it to be liked or to get attention at work. You CAN say no to that impulse and you WILL still be liked even if you don't share every detail about yourself. Give it a try!
Friend vs colleague: Some colleagues are actually good friends so be sure to make this distinction before sharing. If John is my good friend and Joey is a pleasant colleague I get along with, it may be OK to tell John about an issue regarding my brother-in-law and Joey about how much I enjoyed the office year-end party.
Getting the job done: Are the personal details you share with colleagues affecting productivity by either distracting them or influencing their impression of your abilities? I wouldn't want to disrupt the flow of work with my shocking stories, or for my boss to doubt my focus because I am constantly talking about my personal problems.
Remember your personal brand: Ask anyone you know if they have an over-sharing colleague and see how quickly they identify him/her. Building a reputation at work for always sharing too much of your personal life may create the impression that you are unprofessional and this can actually hinder your career growth.
Have you ever shared an office with someone who loves talking... about his/her personal life... ALL THE TIME!? I'm sure there are a few experts on the topic nodding their heads right now.
So what do you do when you have a chatty colleague (let's call her Cindy!) who struggles to A) keep her personal life personal, and B) stop talking long enough to actually do her work? I haven't had to deal with this personally, so I've looked around and found some radical ideas on how to handle this phenomenon:
Wear headphones all day - not ideal if you do need to talk with colleagues now and then and want to build relationships with your team.
Have your desk phone on speed dial on your cell phone - if whoever stops by to talk is taking too much of my time, discretely call your desk phone and go through the answer routine to your imaginary caller.
Explain that you're the type who can work and listen at the same time, so that they shouldn't be offended if you work while they talk.
All jokes aside, the best steps to follow when your chatty friend starts again, are something along the following lines:
“Gee Cindy, I have so much to do right now. I’d love to chat but I’ve got to focus in order to get this done today…Why don’t we chat over lunch?”
"Cindy, it's not that I'm not interested, but I’m really busy right now. I’ve got to get this done.”
"Cindy, I can’t really afford to spend time at work talking about personal stuff. If I do, I fall behind and slip up on my performance. If you don’t mind, I’m going to have to stick to work. I don’t mean to be insensitive but I’ve got a lot to do.”
Ignore her questions or comments by not responding (not ideal so try avoiding this step all together if possible).
If this is affecting your ability to do your work, you need to avoid staying in the ignoring phase too long and talk to your supervisor.
Many of us attend (or lead) meetings on a regular basis. Sometimes they run smoothly and other times things spin out of control into a clumsy mess. Here are some short tips to help you stay focused, professional and effective in meetings.
Dear Wannabe|Employee, Some of my colleagues at work are also my Facebook friends. I don't think this is an issue, but when they start talking office politics or complaining about their bosses in their posts I do feel that they are being inappropriate. Is it OK to talk shop on personal sites when you know colleagues can view your comments? Should I not be adding colleagues as friends at all?
Excellent question! There are various outlooks on this topic, so in stead of giving you a list of do's and dont's, here are some questions you can ask yourself:
Do I really want to mix business with pleasure?: In order to avoid this ambiguity, I have decided to spare myself the confusion and separate the two. I add personal contacts on Facebook and professional contacts on LinkedIn. There is no rule against mixing the two, but separating my contact groups is the easiest way for me to avoid this dilemma in the first place.
What is the message I'm sending?: Like I mentioned in a previous post, everything you do and say affects your personal brand either positively or negatively. If you are polite in the office, but everyone can see your accusing and rude comments online, do you think people view you as someone with integrity? You might be giving everyone the impression that you are just another average employee who enjoys complaining about their job, so why not use Facebook as yet another way of building your reputation and posting things that show your positive attitude and strong character?
What if my friend becomes my manager?: The reality is that things can change at any time in your organisation, and your friend may end up being your boss. Do you think he will trust you with sensitive information if he knows you love online office gossip? Do you think he will recommend you for promotions? Any negative thing you say about your employer online becomes reason for him to doubt your loyalty to the company.
Looking like a coward?: Let's face it, complaining about your boss or organisation online (behind their backs) instead of being part of the solution will send the message that you are someone who is quick to throw stones and not interested in taking positive action. It won't get you fired but it does show that you are not interested in making a difference or handling issues head-on.
Should I just delete all my colleagues as Facebook friends?: I'm sure it will come across as being insensitive if you just delete them all, but letting them know that you're making an effort to move all your professional contacts from Facebook to LinkedIn may be received positively by some. If you have good friends at work you would like to keep as Facebook friends, have you considered adding them to a "colleagues" group that you can hide selected posts from? This means screening each comment or photo album before sharing, but if you're willing to spend the extra seconds each time you post, this might be your best alternative.
This is something we could talk about for hours. In the end something as casual as Facebook is a way of communicating your values. Regardless of who you share with, your comments will always influence the way people perceive you and the level to which they respect you, even in a personal capacity.
What are your thoughts on this? Check out some other related posts:
Something I really enjoy about watching employee behaviour is how different things irritate different people. And in the workplace, where we spend big chunks of our time in relatively close proximity to others, there are bound to be a variety of potential triggers.
I was trying to think of a couple of things that get on my nerves from time to time:
Rudeness - This really gets me worked up sometimes. I find it hard to keep quiet when I see an employee throwing his/her weight around and disregarding others to feel better about themselves. I know that it's impossible for everyone to like each other, but I believe that liking someone should not determine whether or not we respect them as a person.
Office gossip - Being in HR, I’ve noticed some employees who will always try to ask me questions they know they shouldn’t. “But can’t YOU tell us what’s going on with so-and-so? We won’t tell anyone, we just really want to know”. These are also the same employees who take any hint of a rumour and distribute it through the office at record speed. I’m not a fan.
Grown-ups behaving like spoiled children - I have to admit, we all may occasionally have one of these moments ☺, but there are days when an employee reminds me again that being older doesn’t necessarily mean you are mature. I’m sure we’ve all encountered one of those...
These are really personal irritations, but let’s not forget those pet peeves that send blood pressures through the roof sometimes! An employee who always borrows your pen and never returns it, someone who dresses inappropriately, bad lunch manners, or a colleague stepping into your personal space. What are the things that get on your nerves in the office?
